Ok--
you good or nice people won't know what I am stressing about, but I hate birthdays. It isn't the aging I am 53, it is more how nice people are to you that normally don't acknowledge you on the street. If you are special to me I won't wait for a specific day to tell you. I will let you know in any case I am not good at hiding good or bad emotions. I could never play poker for example. Even when i think i am circumspect my own face makes a liar out of me.
Why can't we just say , you are a real nerd but I love you? I don't mean that syrupy romantic drivel I mean I genuinely would feel bad if you were hit by a bus, I would miss you stuff?
I have said it many times at funerals, but not so much at parades and parties. I wait too late to tell you how very much I think about the things you say, even if I don't respond at the time. The same intimacy that attracts you to your partner, will quickly fade in the cold light of day if you get too "comfortable" by which i mean rude to each other, at home.
We have friends we think are having marital woes, and we love them both, I just wish they were as kind to each other as they are to strangers on the street. We are at least polite to strangers. We would never shout I hate you in public even if we did. Something about being on our own door step and we forget common decency and basic kindergarten manners. Be careful what you say, do you really want to be alone? you know you can do that without leaving a wrecking ball in your former beloveds heart. I mean, you picked them. so if they are losers it says as much about you as them.
Some days I hate Jim enough to run him over, but it rarely has anything to do with Jim. He must be away long hard hours to support our family and his former one. He did so well he got a superior evaluation. He struggles with making his performance match his company's high ideal expectations. In return the company is taking his beautiful car he loves so much. Some way to say thanks huh? But Jim just regroups and says, "well it isn't just me its a lot of the guys". And he believes it, he has put his future in this company's hands.That is a kind of respect and love--to submit to things that don't always seem fair to take care of those you love. Jim loves me, and every time we have to be apart I miss him awfully. I was not his first choice, but I hope to be his last. He is my best friend. I don't want to look for another of those. I am content. Tell the people you love, don't assume they know. Unless you do want to be alone, like Greta Garbo.Lonely that.This could be a rebirth for you too.
God bless
you good or nice people won't know what I am stressing about, but I hate birthdays. It isn't the aging I am 53, it is more how nice people are to you that normally don't acknowledge you on the street. If you are special to me I won't wait for a specific day to tell you. I will let you know in any case I am not good at hiding good or bad emotions. I could never play poker for example. Even when i think i am circumspect my own face makes a liar out of me.
Why can't we just say , you are a real nerd but I love you? I don't mean that syrupy romantic drivel I mean I genuinely would feel bad if you were hit by a bus, I would miss you stuff?
I have said it many times at funerals, but not so much at parades and parties. I wait too late to tell you how very much I think about the things you say, even if I don't respond at the time. The same intimacy that attracts you to your partner, will quickly fade in the cold light of day if you get too "comfortable" by which i mean rude to each other, at home.
We have friends we think are having marital woes, and we love them both, I just wish they were as kind to each other as they are to strangers on the street. We are at least polite to strangers. We would never shout I hate you in public even if we did. Something about being on our own door step and we forget common decency and basic kindergarten manners. Be careful what you say, do you really want to be alone? you know you can do that without leaving a wrecking ball in your former beloveds heart. I mean, you picked them. so if they are losers it says as much about you as them.
Some days I hate Jim enough to run him over, but it rarely has anything to do with Jim. He must be away long hard hours to support our family and his former one. He did so well he got a superior evaluation. He struggles with making his performance match his company's high ideal expectations. In return the company is taking his beautiful car he loves so much. Some way to say thanks huh? But Jim just regroups and says, "well it isn't just me its a lot of the guys". And he believes it, he has put his future in this company's hands.That is a kind of respect and love--to submit to things that don't always seem fair to take care of those you love. Jim loves me, and every time we have to be apart I miss him awfully. I was not his first choice, but I hope to be his last. He is my best friend. I don't want to look for another of those. I am content. Tell the people you love, don't assume they know. Unless you do want to be alone, like Greta Garbo.Lonely that.This could be a rebirth for you too.
God bless
No comments:
Post a Comment