Ok--
I got quite a lot of response from my blog yesterday. It is my goal to start conversations but it was not my intention to become so angry at what I read. One friend even compared this with when we shot Hitler, so not everyone has their facts straight, including me. In matters of national pride I get defensive, and if I crossed the line I apologize, not for my blog, but my responses to comments on the blog
Now for something completely off the wall.
In private talks a theme keeps coming up. It is the dissolution of some families, and for reasons I frankly don't understand. I know Mother's Day is coming Sunday, (In America) and for most of you this is a great time to thank your Mom for all she did so unselfishly whilst you were growing up.
For some people, growing up was not that pollyannaistic. Let's be honest, some mothers are insane. For too long we have excused it with they learnt that behavior as a child. Well, I am different than my family in good and bad ways.The point is a good parent will teach you how to make your own choices and to be accountable for them.
I do not understand mercy killings, or honor killings, or whatever they are called now. I call it murder. Why in 2011 do people still get ostracized for who they marry? Why do families write you off when as a new bride or groom you need guidance more than ever? It is hard to be married, so many just live together to avoid the hassles of breaking up. Marriage takes commitment cause I will tell you a secret, you do not love your spouse every day. Not at that breathless can't live without them type of emotion.I also can tell you that you can love someone and hate them for a day. I am divorced and I think the reason is I had too high expectations of myself and the man. This time around I breathe and I let him breathe. Yes I get dramatically angry,but maybe that is because I need to blow off steam sometimes.
If your brother married someone you can't stand, if your cousin got in a little trouble as a young adult, if you find out your parents have feet of clay, forgive them. Home is where when you go there,they have to take you in is an old adage and it is true. I cannot think of many situations more scary than being afraid and having no where to turn. Some people are toxic, and i don't mean the beaters and verbal haters, I mean good people who say unforgivable things sometimes. Like me. Like you. If you see someone stumbling, help them get home, even if only in their mind. Then teach them to forgive themselves. We all need hope. Some may even need a reason to put that needle or bottle down, and some have abused their families by stealing to support their habits. I am nit saying to be a doormat, but at least give them one chance before you write them off. I've needed a second chance with my children, and so I have to be prepared to stand by loving them as adults now they go out and make their own choices.DO I have to like the choices? No I have to love the choice maker. My greatest contribution is the promise if they fall, they can come home and regroup. Marrying outside your faith, social class, parents wishes, etc. is a rite of passage, and remember love grows where it wants. So many things in life happen we can't prevent, don't make home unwelcome hostile territory for someone who is drowning.
Please lets not bury one more gay child who can't meet your standards and you think let you down, think of how long they will be gone for. Please let's not bury one more artistic child in a job he will hate because you are afraid he can't support himself. He may fail, and the status quo life is always there, but some people make it. Someone was the Mom of Picasso. Someone else was Hitlers Mom. In the end we make our own choices, but lets launch them as bravely as we can.
Sometimes we all feel like a motherless child, a mighty long way from home, as the old song goes. Find someone who mothered you and give them a hug Sunday.
God bless.
I got quite a lot of response from my blog yesterday. It is my goal to start conversations but it was not my intention to become so angry at what I read. One friend even compared this with when we shot Hitler, so not everyone has their facts straight, including me. In matters of national pride I get defensive, and if I crossed the line I apologize, not for my blog, but my responses to comments on the blog
Now for something completely off the wall.
In private talks a theme keeps coming up. It is the dissolution of some families, and for reasons I frankly don't understand. I know Mother's Day is coming Sunday, (In America) and for most of you this is a great time to thank your Mom for all she did so unselfishly whilst you were growing up.
For some people, growing up was not that pollyannaistic. Let's be honest, some mothers are insane. For too long we have excused it with they learnt that behavior as a child. Well, I am different than my family in good and bad ways.The point is a good parent will teach you how to make your own choices and to be accountable for them.
I do not understand mercy killings, or honor killings, or whatever they are called now. I call it murder. Why in 2011 do people still get ostracized for who they marry? Why do families write you off when as a new bride or groom you need guidance more than ever? It is hard to be married, so many just live together to avoid the hassles of breaking up. Marriage takes commitment cause I will tell you a secret, you do not love your spouse every day. Not at that breathless can't live without them type of emotion.I also can tell you that you can love someone and hate them for a day. I am divorced and I think the reason is I had too high expectations of myself and the man. This time around I breathe and I let him breathe. Yes I get dramatically angry,but maybe that is because I need to blow off steam sometimes.
If your brother married someone you can't stand, if your cousin got in a little trouble as a young adult, if you find out your parents have feet of clay, forgive them. Home is where when you go there,they have to take you in is an old adage and it is true. I cannot think of many situations more scary than being afraid and having no where to turn. Some people are toxic, and i don't mean the beaters and verbal haters, I mean good people who say unforgivable things sometimes. Like me. Like you. If you see someone stumbling, help them get home, even if only in their mind. Then teach them to forgive themselves. We all need hope. Some may even need a reason to put that needle or bottle down, and some have abused their families by stealing to support their habits. I am nit saying to be a doormat, but at least give them one chance before you write them off. I've needed a second chance with my children, and so I have to be prepared to stand by loving them as adults now they go out and make their own choices.DO I have to like the choices? No I have to love the choice maker. My greatest contribution is the promise if they fall, they can come home and regroup. Marrying outside your faith, social class, parents wishes, etc. is a rite of passage, and remember love grows where it wants. So many things in life happen we can't prevent, don't make home unwelcome hostile territory for someone who is drowning.
Please lets not bury one more gay child who can't meet your standards and you think let you down, think of how long they will be gone for. Please let's not bury one more artistic child in a job he will hate because you are afraid he can't support himself. He may fail, and the status quo life is always there, but some people make it. Someone was the Mom of Picasso. Someone else was Hitlers Mom. In the end we make our own choices, but lets launch them as bravely as we can.
Sometimes we all feel like a motherless child, a mighty long way from home, as the old song goes. Find someone who mothered you and give them a hug Sunday.
God bless.
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