What an adventurous week I have had. Today is Thursday so there is no dialysis. The ham dinner i told you about Tuesday was the best meal I have made in a while. The gravy had no lumps and the ham wasn't overpoweringly salty. Jim had a minestrone starter, and all was right with the world.
I do not feel pressured to top that meal as I once might have. Jim has taught me to do the best I can every day, and to include breaks, because real jobs give breaks too. Jim is pretty good at advising me on most things. He even will listen to spiritual things and give an honest opinion. I am really blessed, but we both have flaws. I had to quit expecting Jim to be perfect, because not only can i not give perfection in return, I would resent him if he were perfect and I were not.
Jim has the ability to look at some topics objectively and with logic and reason. I far too often lead with my heart and emotions. Jim knows he is smarter and stronger so e doesn't have to bully me. I am insecure in those areas so I seek approval and oneupmanship. Jim once said to me he would never hear me say even once," you know Jim, you may be right.". and so far you know what, he was right.
In all these areas we are so well suited that I have learned to listen to Jim's advice. He enjoys my writings, but my punctuation errors set his teeth on edge. I was so insecure at first, I would not post unless he had read it first. But by forging ahead a few times and taking the knocks, I am gaining confidence. Jim needs to be needed, but not in every decision I make. He has less stress now as I forge out nto new topics and ideas alone. He is my safe harbor, but my imagination is free to float any shore.
When I grew up, i was told i was stupid enough i know am convinced of it. We did the same thing to my brother. Thankfully he rebelled and got out of that house and around people who knew how to treat him, and he learned what family is supposed to be, and then he taught me when I was ready. I went away to college as a young woman, and i earned my BA in only three years. Not only was I smart enough, I knew how to work hard. That combo saw me through the loneliest years of my life. I do not trust people so I had trouble making friends. My Mom would not allow me to buy jeans and she told me they made me look fat. I foolishly listened and went to Geneseo dressed like a polyester nightmare. Nothing i brought was like the other girls, nor was it similar enough to be my own style. I stuck out like a fat sore thumb. Every single day under master teachers I learned something new each day, and in many classes. Ron Herzman and Mr Donofrio changed my life. One showed me how to understand Shakespeare, and the other taught me not to be such a smartass-- in those exact words. This knowledge has been very valuable to me many times in my life and I got so much more than an "education" for my money. I got a glimpse of how people do this game called life.
And I am forever in their debt.
Blessings.
I do not feel pressured to top that meal as I once might have. Jim has taught me to do the best I can every day, and to include breaks, because real jobs give breaks too. Jim is pretty good at advising me on most things. He even will listen to spiritual things and give an honest opinion. I am really blessed, but we both have flaws. I had to quit expecting Jim to be perfect, because not only can i not give perfection in return, I would resent him if he were perfect and I were not.
Jim has the ability to look at some topics objectively and with logic and reason. I far too often lead with my heart and emotions. Jim knows he is smarter and stronger so e doesn't have to bully me. I am insecure in those areas so I seek approval and oneupmanship. Jim once said to me he would never hear me say even once," you know Jim, you may be right.". and so far you know what, he was right.
In all these areas we are so well suited that I have learned to listen to Jim's advice. He enjoys my writings, but my punctuation errors set his teeth on edge. I was so insecure at first, I would not post unless he had read it first. But by forging ahead a few times and taking the knocks, I am gaining confidence. Jim needs to be needed, but not in every decision I make. He has less stress now as I forge out nto new topics and ideas alone. He is my safe harbor, but my imagination is free to float any shore.
When I grew up, i was told i was stupid enough i know am convinced of it. We did the same thing to my brother. Thankfully he rebelled and got out of that house and around people who knew how to treat him, and he learned what family is supposed to be, and then he taught me when I was ready. I went away to college as a young woman, and i earned my BA in only three years. Not only was I smart enough, I knew how to work hard. That combo saw me through the loneliest years of my life. I do not trust people so I had trouble making friends. My Mom would not allow me to buy jeans and she told me they made me look fat. I foolishly listened and went to Geneseo dressed like a polyester nightmare. Nothing i brought was like the other girls, nor was it similar enough to be my own style. I stuck out like a fat sore thumb. Every single day under master teachers I learned something new each day, and in many classes. Ron Herzman and Mr Donofrio changed my life. One showed me how to understand Shakespeare, and the other taught me not to be such a smartass-- in those exact words. This knowledge has been very valuable to me many times in my life and I got so much more than an "education" for my money. I got a glimpse of how people do this game called life.
And I am forever in their debt.
Blessings.
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