Ten years ago today, I announced to my work that I would be leaving in the fall to go to Scotland. I felt I should give them time to train my replacement, and that it was the right thing to do. They promptly fired me. I guess I wasn't as hard to replace as I thought. In the days that followed,i came to question the wisdom of being so far from home when the "war on terror" was about to erupt. As many of you know, i second-guess every decision I ever made. My police type relations said "for all you know he may be an ax-murderer." I think my Mom just worried if I got into trouble I would be too far away to help me.
I wanted a new life. More than my little chicken heart was afraid of change, I needed a second chance. Have you ever felt that way? I just wanted to go back to GO and start over. I wanted a chance to be happy. I wanted more than that, to get away from "the people who loved me". After my divorce I could not see the forest for the trees. I felt lost and afraid. How could anyone leave someone as wonderful as me? I was about 44, not that good looking, and more than a little overweight. Oh, and Jim loved me.
Not with blinders on, but knew me inside and out as much as you can know someone you haven't lived with yet, and wanted to marry me anyway. SO after negotiations the Kremlin would be proud of, Jim helped me sell up and walk on that plane. Mom and Ellen surprised me at the airport, and Jim surprised me at the other airport because he had cut his hair so short i didn't recognize him. And what was the catalyst for all this change? Fred dumping me. I am so afraid of change I would have stayed with him forever. Plus I had this weirdo idea of Gods opinion of marriage. SO in a weird kinda way, Fred set me free to be this happy in the second half of my marriage. We quarrel and all, we are very emotional people, but I appreciate being with someone who can put thoughts together. I wish sometimes I could control those thoughts a little, but I can't and even though he doesnt believe in the "God" he allows me to do anyone thing i feel i need to to be happy.
One thing we learned, life is short, and we prefer to be happy. So we are. Thanks for listening.
Well done Andy Murray.
I wanted a new life. More than my little chicken heart was afraid of change, I needed a second chance. Have you ever felt that way? I just wanted to go back to GO and start over. I wanted a chance to be happy. I wanted more than that, to get away from "the people who loved me". After my divorce I could not see the forest for the trees. I felt lost and afraid. How could anyone leave someone as wonderful as me? I was about 44, not that good looking, and more than a little overweight. Oh, and Jim loved me.
Not with blinders on, but knew me inside and out as much as you can know someone you haven't lived with yet, and wanted to marry me anyway. SO after negotiations the Kremlin would be proud of, Jim helped me sell up and walk on that plane. Mom and Ellen surprised me at the airport, and Jim surprised me at the other airport because he had cut his hair so short i didn't recognize him. And what was the catalyst for all this change? Fred dumping me. I am so afraid of change I would have stayed with him forever. Plus I had this weirdo idea of Gods opinion of marriage. SO in a weird kinda way, Fred set me free to be this happy in the second half of my marriage. We quarrel and all, we are very emotional people, but I appreciate being with someone who can put thoughts together. I wish sometimes I could control those thoughts a little, but I can't and even though he doesnt believe in the "God" he allows me to do anyone thing i feel i need to to be happy.
One thing we learned, life is short, and we prefer to be happy. So we are. Thanks for listening.
Well done Andy Murray.
No comments:
Post a Comment