This morning as I was dressing I noticed something new to me. The last few letters in September spell ember. To me ember implies heat, and September is when Dad always brought home the wood he had chopped all summer. He would try when possible to use wood that was already down, although being dried
it was harder to chop. My dad taught me the old saw, chopping wood warms you twice. It is when we got a winter deposit of fuel to back up cold days when Dad was at work and the fire went out.
If I had it to do again, I wish I had filled the wood box more often. I wish I had done something nice for him for all those nights he had to get out of a warm bed and go down to the cold manky basement to get wood for the firebox Bill and I never filled. If Dad had lived till I was a parent I think he would have seen me finally mature a bit. But wishes aren't actions and i was a selfish kid. I wanted fire and i didn't want to help get it.
I often wonder why Dad loved Mom and us so, he was constantly nagged and called names, and we did not have compassion because we had never loved someone so flawed. Now i am with JIm I can see how you can love and dislike someone sometimes at the same time. My head can hold those two incongruous thoughts. Or maybe I am the looney.
I miss my Dad. I used to miss him as my hero, now I know he was very human, and somehow i love him even more. But I wasted a lot of chances to see him that I wish I had taken. Don't be like me. Give the old man a call. He may one day have a home he can't take calls in. I used to hope there was a heaven so I could go there. Now i pray there is one so my Dad is reunited with his brothers, and happily waiting.
Blessings.
it was harder to chop. My dad taught me the old saw, chopping wood warms you twice. It is when we got a winter deposit of fuel to back up cold days when Dad was at work and the fire went out.
If I had it to do again, I wish I had filled the wood box more often. I wish I had done something nice for him for all those nights he had to get out of a warm bed and go down to the cold manky basement to get wood for the firebox Bill and I never filled. If Dad had lived till I was a parent I think he would have seen me finally mature a bit. But wishes aren't actions and i was a selfish kid. I wanted fire and i didn't want to help get it.
I often wonder why Dad loved Mom and us so, he was constantly nagged and called names, and we did not have compassion because we had never loved someone so flawed. Now i am with JIm I can see how you can love and dislike someone sometimes at the same time. My head can hold those two incongruous thoughts. Or maybe I am the looney.
I miss my Dad. I used to miss him as my hero, now I know he was very human, and somehow i love him even more. But I wasted a lot of chances to see him that I wish I had taken. Don't be like me. Give the old man a call. He may one day have a home he can't take calls in. I used to hope there was a heaven so I could go there. Now i pray there is one so my Dad is reunited with his brothers, and happily waiting.
Blessings.
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