April First 2012

Today is the year one milepost for this blog. TY if you ever read any, and bless you if you are a follower of the blog. Special shout out to my Jim, who I run the controversial stuff by because I sometimes lose my head when angry.

For a brief time I abandoned my writing, and the depression that caused it increased because i had no vent for my sadness. Now, instead of forcing a column for each new day, I write when i have something to say. I wish everyone would only talk when they had something to say. I wish people could look at what they hate and acknowledge how much of it might be fear of the unknown.

I wish my kids were married because they are in love. That is selfish on my part because I want to be a Grandma. I wish the other two or three Grandmas would move to Iceland so I had the child(ren) to myself.If wishes were horses...

I wish everyone had some kind of safe roof over their heads. I wish people who scream about religion, practiced it instead. Words are cheap, and so are many people.

I hope our Constitution survives this recession. I hope America becomes the America i had when i grew up, our kids deserve that.

I wish every red head to realize how special they are. I pay to get the color they were given. Curls or straight, we all are who we are meant to be. Let's celebrate diversity and move on. Maybe our parents were wrong but we do not need to spread it to another generation.

May you all find someone to love you like my JIm does me. Not because i am rich, beautiful , or healthy, he just loves me. I am smart enough to stop asking why in case he begins to wonder. I accept he loves me unconditionally, and that is what i was looking for all my life. Plus he is a bit of a brain, and a bit of a looker.

As we begin year two, I am wondering what all we might be about to talk about together. I welcome feedback, and I hope you never hesitate to respond because i am unwell. I am a tough old broad.

To my 7 followers, bless you for your strength. Even I never know what i will say from day to day.
Hallelujah.

The Wrath of Wrathy

At first I just thought she hated Americans, and that started this whole new past-time I have of observing her and her words more specifically. Although she is Irish and Catholic, she does not realize she is as bad as those who participated in the troubles. She simply "looks down" on the poor protestants going to hell.
Yesterday in the car she starting griping about those she calls "asians". because she knows i would go mental if she said pakis, but she might as well with the venom she spits.She is not some country bumpkin, although poor as a churchmouse, she has a lawyer for a son and a doctor for a daughter. Her ignorance is more inexcusable because she has seen the world when her hubby was alive. Nope, I can make no excuses for her, she is purely ignorant.

Patriotism --American style

First of all it needs be said I have not lived in America since October 22, 2002 when i arrived in Glasgow Airport. I have visited, but my health precludes that now. Many in my family are republicans, but Reeds were traditionally Democrats. Some of our friends were Catholic and some were not and some believe in no God at all. These people are all good citizens.


Some Americans vote. But sadly, politicians know most will not. The job is no longer to run on issues, but to lull the people back to sleep. Some are just now coming awake, but they lack a viable candidate to choose. Some shake angry fists at Government, some OCCUPY, and some happily sit as the 1%. Nothing there to keep them from being American.


Some hoard money like a lifeline, some feed the poor. Some visit prisoners and bring them hope, and some think that all prisones are all guilty are too far gone. Some believe Roe v Wade is a curse on our land, and some want some better gun control. Some want the government to police who we can love and marry, some want less government. Some oppose gay marriage and many other Bible truths, some want no bibles in our lives.


All of this is enough to get you killed, but no one is screaming about our one foundation. The constitution is still as firm as it was when written. The situations it addressed have changed, but it is the envy of the free world. We hold these truths to be self-evident==(needing no further explication), that ALL men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator-(higher power=God=)which certain inalienable rights, namely life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.


It is not unpatriotic to protest-we were formed by protesting unfair taxation by the British colonial bad guys, and it has gone on ever since. It is not patriotic to wave, wear or burn a flag, it is unpatriotic to conspire to bring America down. IN this context the wall street warriors called Occupy shamed the nation, they had a right. It doesn't say the cause has to be just, hell we even let the KKK protest true Americanism, as we must with their first amendment rights. Free speech cannot be taxed or fined or limited. Patriotism doesn not require you to live in your homeland, as many soldiers now are in harms way as spring comes to Afghanistan and the taliban are getting read yo to come down the mountains to kill. Patriotism requires that you tell your government the truth. It even has recourse to the militia if the government needs overturned. Patriotism does not require you to believe me, you must read it for yourself.
Patriotism does not even require you to love the government, it requires you to fight as hard for others rights as your own.


I may hate what you say, but i will fight to the death your right to say it. Our bloody Civil War didnt change it, World Wars didn't change it. Even 9/11 could not defeat the constitution. Found out what it says, it may surprise you. AS the kids say, "Google it!"


Some people do not believe the Native Americans were the first people in America. Some do not believe man landed on the moon. Many no longer believe in God. Some are addicts and very sick and some are dying. No one can say who is an American but the Constitution. Nothing can define treason but that some precious paper, and the original is still on display, sop quit listening to politicians tell you what it is about and read it for yourself. The last point i will make is, the constitution protects Americans who cannot read. 


And they all are Americans and therefor patriots. Deal with it. Oh, and some are white.


Blessings.

Almost done with year one.....

Last year on April Fools Day I decided to blog to help with my depression. I started that date so if no one read it, I could say I did it as a joke. Now a year on, and I have never felt better. Part of it is the weather which is too warm for March, but i will keep it; part of it is I have started telling the people in my life some home truths, and part of it is the dialysis seems to be a bit under control(as much as possible).

Yesterday as an experiment I started chatting with pimply Marette as a test. It was mostly to see if I could keep a civil tongue in my head. I did, and she did, and although we will never be friends, the ride is less stressy. My poor nurses asked me about a med they want me to take,in fact they were gonna increase it. I simply told them i had not started taking it at all. The reason is it makes you sick to your stomach, and i don't need that. They cant handle my honesty i think. anyhoo,suffice it to say i promised to try, so i am sitting here staring at it. It feels stupid, but it takes a lot to keep this garden balanced, and it is the unknown of a new pill in the mix i fear. SO I am ordering myself to do it, and frankly I would rather clean the whole bathroom than take this pill. Yes i am that immature lol. Supposedly it will take my dowagers hump away, and strengthen my bones we shall see. I feel like a plant knowing my ph is off balance.

Ok work to do places to go....thanks for listening and see ya the next time.

sun stroke

Not really, but so many days of record breaking heat means yesterday it was warmer in Glasgow than in Cyprus, and today Glasgow beat Tenerife. We are pretty chuffed. The news has shown people bathing not just in the sun, but actually in the water in March in Renfrewshire. I bet the leisure centre employees are lonely, and with good cause, because everyone (even me) has been outside.y energy and joy ratings are through the roof.


This is the month i traditionally become sad as it seems spring is never coming. A late snow fall really takes the steam out of me, but not in 2012, this is the year of global warming. Maybe that was what the Mayans discovered, not the end of the world, but the end of the eternal rain and fog in the UK. Next year there may not be a united Kingdom anymore, so this is a nice farewell parting.


I think we must take a moment and thank the SNP for arranging this weather for the Queen's Jubilee year. I bet Balmoral is ablaze with daffodils and all the willows are budding. All in all, i really mustn't grumble. Life is good.


Blessings

Trayvon Martin-don't you dare forget him

I will tell you the very little I know about this young man. He was murdered by a coward,(allegedly). Geraldo who lost all credability when he sold out years ago, says hoodies are frightening things. As if that is some freaking defense of this crime. And make no mistake, despite Florida law, self-defense was not intended for a boy with candy and a soda to be gunned down like an animal. No one called his mama, despite the fact that he was carrying a cell phone. The police told Zimmerman they were coming and to leave it be. The police, trained to gather facts and use appropriate actions, were not allowed to do their jobs. Zimmerman took it upon himself to be judge, jury, and executioner. No one has the right to hold all the cards, which is why we have a justice system and three branches of checks and balances in our government. His willful disregard for police instructions was a crime before the word "coon" was used, or a shot fired. Having fired a weapon, no drug or alcohol testing was done, despite the fact the victim was subjected to it before anyone had determined John Doe's real name, or called his family.  If the actual police officers discharged their weapon, immediately Internal Affairs would jump in. Determining if the lethal force was deemed righteous, and testing the cops fitness to perform in his job. Zimmerman was questioned, said "he felt threatened" and released. If Zimmerman wants to be the cop and jury and executioner, should he not have a bit more rigid standards to uphold in evidence? 


A simple check of the cell phone could have ended a lot of speculation. I smell racism, and sadly  the stink rises to the nostrils of God. I know you haters will say,"well would you be happy if Zimmerman was lying on that slab instead?" Well, crime happens, and we must all guard against it, but using the word "coon" changes it to a hate crime, and that adds (rightfully) another dimension to the pain of those Trayvon left behind. I think perhaps the Florida judicial system from cop to the Supreme Court of Florida needs a job review. IS it justice we seek, or a swift resolution to this tragic waste of life. A boy dead with candy and a soda. Florida Mothers now will have to walk their kids to the candy store, for fear of the terror of racist old men. For shame, Florida. Apparently Mickey Mouse refers to the homicide unit.
Yes I am angry.

and you call yourself a (fill in the blank...)

Today was very eventful for me. For a whole day I did not have to be a patient or listen to the two old grumblepusses I am forced to ride to hospital with every 2nd day. Today was bliss on every corner for me. 


Home base was a big disappointment--way over priced even with the 20% off, like a B&Q with lacy panties. Yes it looked gorgeous, but no substance to justify the price.


Then on to Tesco Greenock which was big and airy and i spent the whole grocery budget but we have fruit and veg again. I even splashed out on Tomato and Butter bean soup, and a huge roast for a ladies party coming up.


Then on to PRFC because Jims rugby seconds had a game against Renfrew-(or was it a drubbing), no i thing the word is gubbing=some ubbing word. In a closer result the First XV had a narrow victory that could really could have gone either way. The game seemed pretty tempestous, but the only people i heard talk us down was a few old-timers who should have known better, and I don't mean Mr Wilson. In spite of the crowd, or because of it, I  cheered even louder and my boys didnt let me down. Scotland itself could not have done better.


After the game I went home to chicken and mac and cheese made by today's winning manager, and it tasted like heaven. The cheer-leading section was made up of June, Jennifer, Allison, Cat and me. it was nice to be with my rugby friends again. Noticeably missing was Colin and Andy who obviously are apish at holding pre-game booze nights.
Colin had promised to come, but, dang that demon rum!


After the game I went home to chicken and mac and cheese made by today's winning manager, and it tasted like heaven. Then Jim is back to the celebratory booze-a-thon and i am getting an early night, as I am bone tired.


One last thing, as so much jewelry must be removed to play safe rugby, I am not responsible for seeing Garys' new piercing, and to be kind he did make a try to day. Percy can't help but be Percy, but he did raise a lot of cash for someone else to run for Sports Relief, (good luck Danny). We tried out a new referee today and he was smashing, although some have to adjust to the ref being a former teammate fort hat day. ALl in all, bliss.AND the team will soon expand as we have some we new recruits due soon. Life is good. I miss Craig, he would have loved today , too!
Blessings, and GO PAISLEY WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Homebase

Well, Homebase has a 20% sale on today and I need a few things to prepare the home for the visit from She who must be obeyed. One coat of paint is already on the living room and kitchen ceiling, that took 4 days off from work. This weekend a second coat was promised, but Renfrew is coming to Paisley for the rugby so we shall see.


I don't know why the men i marry never share my zeal for a nice home, tastefully decorated, within a budget. I know we rent, I know it isn't our home, but I feel a little decorating helps me nest. In my original home Saturday morning we got up and dressed, had a light breakfast and set to work. If you were male, your work was outside, where you went, taking the house garbage with you. Mom and I needed a clean garbage base to start our projects of toss and clean.
In addition to cleaning the house, Mom kept the laundry going and made something really special for lunch. Sometimes it was American lasagna (very different than the stuff served here with chips). We would also work our hearts out for her stuffed pork chops, or her split pea soup. Towards the end of the time, we stopped around noon or oneish, Mom would shower and set her hair, that was everyone's signal it was ok to start wrapping up whatever project you were on and go clean your own room.
Now the man job depended on time of year. Most of the time it was mowing grass and trimming weeds around the house, but when there was snow, it was shoveling, and dad dragging out the snow plow. We were fortunate that Dad had built a garage, so the cars were easier to get started in the morning when they went to work. My Dad would go out to the garage, start Moms car and get the heat rolling for her. My Dad had a lot of faults, but her took good care of us.
Bill and I were the scullery maid and yard boy respectively. Both of us thought the other had the better job. I envied Billy
a whole morning alone alone with Dad, and he thought housework was pretty much telling the machines what to do. Ah, the grass is always greener. My brother has a touch of OCD, his room was a showplace of tidy. I am a pack rat, and Mom entered my room once a year with a large garbage bag and threw away my treasures. She had no way to know how much this stuff meant to me. It was like a wall i built between me and the chaos of our lives.


So now, if you love me,instead of a gift--(and i detest flowers), please give me a couple hours getting my house back--we call it spring cleaning. If my home doesn;t look good, and spotless, I will have even less confidence when SHE arrives. With my disability I see things that I used to be able to do, and Iget so frustrated. SO anyway, if you love me, help me. Yes I know you live in America and I am only dreaming, but it helps to vent.


What I won't do to get to see my brother again.


Hey what colour do you like for our kitchen walls?


Blessings.

oops

I was gonna post one of my most heartfelt blogs and as i previewed it i shut it down. i need a way to retrieve it, does anyone know how? i know as it went along i saved it, but to where? i feel stupid.

A Simple Act of Love

Sunday I had my annual fight with God about Motherhood. All I ever wanted in my life was a family. The one He gave me as a baby was "troubled" in the sense Ireland had troubles. Having survived that, I went away to college and had "troubles". Leaving college I had health troubles in the shape of a 35 pound ovarian tumor. At age 22 my fate was sealed, and motherhood was not an option for me. By age 50 I had accepted that truth, and quit trying.


I met a man I married, for a lot of good reasons, but the most honest one was how he spoke to my Mother. She just could not bully or control him, so I was smitten. He needed mothering, but I got him already as damaged as I was from our earliest home life. Those troubles resulted in a divorce, which not only cut me adrift, but convinced me that my last chance for love was gone. As we sat in his lawyers office, I negotiated a life until January 1st, a date i had determined to kill myself by. To this day I could not give you a good reason why i didnt go through with it, but seeing that now i landed in the marriage I always should have had, I am glad to be here.


After the divorce I broke almost every one of my own moral codes, and I became for a time someone I didn't know. Then, the same week the divorce came through was the date of September 11th. The ladies in my building did not know i had been dumped, and seeing me cry so many days in a row, I assumed I lost a very close friend or relative in the towers. These were dark days indeed.


SO anyhoo, you can imagine Mothering Sunday is a hard day for me, for a lot of reasons. I have no kids of my own, and i knew i never would. I woke up angry and bitter and I would not go to church. I sure did not want a sermon on how wonderful Mothers are nor advice on how to care for my own Mum. Sitting there in my pity party, Jims son called and I was annoyed because he was gonna wreck some plans we had for the day.I love Mark, but i wanted to go away with JIm for the day and have peace. Well, guess what? Mark showed up with a huge bouquet of flowers with a butterfly in the center of them. That simple act of love and the chat we had that afternoon, turned my whole day around.


See I am an old softie, show me a wee bit of love, and I can go on for days. Mark let me know he has a Mother he loves, but that he has a place in his heart for me too, and I am special to him, not just because I married his Dad. My brother Bill and Mark are gifts from God when the times get too dark, and i fall into my self-pitying depression. It is good to be here. It is better to be loved. That makes us all immortal.


Blessings

Scotland v Italy-Super Spoon Day

Hello my friends. It is the Super Saturday of the 6Nations Rugby tournament. It is a great day to be a Wales fan. It is cool but sunny here, (but our game is in Italy.) Even the daffodils here came early to celebrate the day. I am not watching the first game. Every one so far i watched we lost, or were winning until i watched. SO I am trying to psych myself for the other two games. Don't worry I won't miss the game someone here I live with watches the games many times and analyzes every point and man.


I apologize for calling for AR to retire this week. This am I heard him lift up his team, and say except for a few personal errors by  individual men we might have won some of them, so ok fair enough. He also made some questionable picks for todays team, but we shall see.


Ok, whatever, hind-sight is 20/20. How about this? We use Sean Lineen to visit every club in Scotland and tell the kids they can be an international player too: if they listen to their coach, work on their personal fitness, and practice, practice practice. He is amazing and inspiring and he has worked with the best. Lets start over with the little ones who love the game, male and female, and develop some teams. Lets get some development officers that care, and are there to lead the youngsters. Lets get off the butt of the volunteer coaches, refs and pie servers who support the kids and don't just drop off their kids for a free Sunday morning babysitter.
Lets not say to Moms who volunteer, "we don't do it that way here." Instead lets see if the idea might work for us, but in baby steps. Lets get the kids all the safety gear they need, and rides to and from away games. Let's show them we believe in them, because we really do or we would not sit there cheering them on. Lets say to Dads who help out on work days," have you ever thought of trying to coach?" None of us is immortal, and the best leader delegates himself out of a job by recognizing peoples gifts and leading them to try new things.
I remember Tom Blair as the president of PRFC, and I learnt a lot of the rules of rugby listening to Douglas Wilson and him patiently explain to me that Jim was fat and not dead as he lay there clutching his chest on the field. I also learnt you are best friends with the guy who tried to make you a soprano in the ruck. It stays on the field.
PRFC is at a cross-roads.Lets all move on together to provide these future International players a forum to learn the fundamentals.
OK that is my housewife from NY opinion. Oh Please God  Andy don't come home from Italy with silverware.
Blessings.

The world stops to mourn

Just as we all took a short pause this week to remember the children of Dunblane, now we must pull together as a family once again.This will not prevent what Israel determines as a nation to do to Iran, it will not stop the senseless terrorism in Syria by its own government, and it won't stop people bashing someone to death for being "gay!".


But every now and again, we must drop our borders, drop our guard and stand as an earth people to mark a tragedy. The bus accident coming home form a skiing holiday has no political or moral overtones. It was a brief holiday to ski whilst there was still snow, and to get away with some school chums to relax and unwind. What happened in that tunnel may never be clear, but for today I am not American, Scottish, or African. Today i am a citizen of the world joining my prayers for the children with horrific injuries, and for the ones not coming home again. So many families in such a small area. The heart wants to scream out "why?", but truly only God knows.


To all the people sometimes overlooked, who had to walk into that tunnel, and give whatever aid and assistance was possible, a special prayer for you, too.
I thank God you were there in some final moments, to at least make them comfortable as possible. I have seen death, but never a child, and that must be a particularly hellish part of your necessary job. 


I believe prayer changes things, and so I offer to add mine to yours for everyone involved, even the kids who didn't go on the trip, but lost their teacher and/or friends. This recovery will be slow, and it will be full of pain, but it will end one day. Until then we do what we can, when we can and hug our own kids a little tighter tonight.


Blessings.

News of Kidney breakthrough

To those of you who don't yet know me, I have been a dialysis patient over two years as my diabetes killed the veins that fed my kidneys,etc. This morning on BBC1 there was research being done at a British transplant hospital. Currently organs, rather from a live or dead source are put on ice to preserve their harvesting. There is now a new way that keeps the kidney warm, feeds it blood and makes the scientists able to see if the kidney is viable before transplant. What a miracle! It also allows some minor repairs to be done to the kidney if needed, before the human has it put in place.
This particular hospital expects to increase transplants by 500 a year! Can you imagine-people getting their life back, untied to a machine to keep them alive. If a few more hospitals tried this, one day dialysis would only be a stop-gap measure as you await your kidney, not a lifestyle like it has been for me. 
Chronic illness really chains the whole family as it affects every one around you, affects plans, holidays, whether you can attend social events...
I am chuffed. Thank you God. Thank you NHS.
Thank you to the brave hospital who tried this experiment.
Blessings. Hope at last !

Dead dust mites

I have been enjoying the flu for several weeks now, since JIm is so generous in his sharing of his manflu. Today when my nose was stuffed again and my eyes all teary i went nuts! I started throwing away things I could not identify. Long ago i warned Jim to clear an area i had put all his crud in, and so I must assume he did so. I gathered so much dust with my trusty can of pledge that I am sure i made several dust mites homeless,if not dead. If i were stronger I would hoover the mattress, but i can't figure out how to turn my hoover to run the tools. Heaven help anyone who says i threw something important out. If it were important, it should be safe in your room.
Well., now i am exhausted, but it is a good respiratory distress this time, I earned it. Even the cat is afraid to shed on the sofa. I am brutal today, and even my own junk had a heave-ho. I am strong, I am invincible, I am spring cleaningggggggggggggggg, I am woman! lol.

I went back to church Sunday

I think I have been foolish again, and I am glad I have returned to my senses. I had posted about going back two Sundays ago, and Jim being willing to sit there with me. He is a good man. He sacrifices many times to make me happy, especially when he senses I am nervous or afraid.

The people could not have been kinder, and everyone carried on even though my cough sounds like I brought a small dog in with me. The bug Jim and i had is mostly gone, but has left me with a cough that will make it impossible to sneak in anywhere for awhile.

Something had happened at an evening service, and the elders made a statement referring to it. I was not there, and so I am happy to report I have no idea what went on. That tells a lot about the people who run the church. I simply do not know, and I am happy not to know.

There are many who disappear a little around eleven--the youths, and a few teachers--and it is so encouraging to see the bright bubbly faces, and how happy they are to be in church. I am horribly early each week so no one sees me struggle to sit, and how much aid i need from JIm. Most are punctual, and a few who want to be in church so much they even come in  a wee bit late just to not miss the service. There is room in my church for everyone, even me.

There was a couple celebrating an anniversary to marriage in the bulletin this week. Mick and Roberta  McColgan celebrated their golden wedding anniversary on 24th February, 2012. God bless them.

Because it is a big drafty building, I am sure it will never have central heating, but when the sun pours through the windows itis a golden light, and that light inspires the worship music and all the peripherals that make church so fulfilling. Within our service we have something for everyone. Our Pastor even follows the rugby, so Jim is not excluded or feeling awkward around my set of friends.

So I am back attending regularly. Keep me honest. I am a better person when I go, and Paisley needs to see we can be people of our word.
Blessings to all, especially the love birds McColgans.