Saturday 6 October 2012

Knitting Needles!

We had a lovely breakfast at the Coffee Bean in Renfrew this am. If i tried to be more awkward I could not have succeeded. I came into the restaurant to find three members of staff taking a wee break cause the place was empty between breakfasters, I thinking the whole world lives for my humor, walked up to the table and said,"I am gonna sit here because it is easier to eavesdrop that way!", seriously thinking I would get  laughter thunderous applause and the like. One girl stared at me like I had two heads, and the other two were polite cause I am a customer. If only I was as funny as I think I am.

Then miss Big Bosoms no brain came to take our order. I do not eat the  big lumberjack breakfasts JIm likes, but I felt like living a little dangerously. SO instead of a bacon roll I ordered a doubler.That would be the bacon of two rolls, but not all the bread. The waitress said that the doubler comes with two fillings what did i want with my bacon, to which i said bacon. I meant to imply twice on the bacon. Then Jim jumped in to help, and then I was almost in tears. I am a wordsmith. I hunt for the right word to convey exactly what I mean all the time, and in real life with no computer I am constantly misunderstood. It isn't always the American slant on things, I genuinely cannot seem to say what I mean. I know what it sounds like in my head, but it comes out gibberish. And not just when the girl has more chesticles than brains.

Then i went next door to the overpriced gift shop, because I dont know where to buy knitting needles, cause I needed a size ten needle. Instead of telling where they were, she asks me what I am making. Fair enough, I told her I was making a blanket. What colour? Well I said I have some yarn to use up. I just need someone to cast the stitches on for me I said. She looked shocked and said, you are buying needles and you don't know how to knit? In my frustration i said, so you don't have needles, again coming off as a two-headed meany with a wart on my nose.

If I knew anywhere else that sold knitting needles I would have just walked out. She got my needles, I got saved by the bell as Jim sauntered into the store and we left. By the way, if any of you know ALison the wonder woman, she is gonna put the stitches on for  me. SO there rude lady from the shop. Wanna go to the Coffee Bean with me anyone? I saw a lovely carrot cake with my name on it there.

Blessings.

No comments:

Post a Comment